Philly native Emily Lance woke up one morning and had a great idea. She was going to pee on the American flag, talk trash, and post it on social media. Her great plan got her tons of attention, comments, reactions, and one huge epic dose of karma that might have her regretting her anti-American actions.
Someone put a bounty on her head for $3,000 on Craigslist.
No one can tell if it’s a serious threat or not, so everyone is probably treading very carefully. $3,000 isn’t exactly a lot of money to risk going to jail for life, but people have done horrible things for a lot less money.
Emily Lance placed the American flag over a toilet, hoisted herself over it with a She Wee or a Go Girl (portable urination device popular among female campers), and drizzled on the flag. She probably thought she was so cool doing this totally rebel and badass thing for social media. She probably thought “OMG I AM THE GREATEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD” and then that’s when the sack of bricks named reality hit her.
She’s a loser with a bounty on her head. The hilarious part about the bounty is that people think she’s only worth a few thousand. I’d be half scared about the bounty, then really upset that people think I’m worth the amount of a used car from the 90’s.
Thanks to 8 years of Obama’s anti-American escapades, anti-American sentiments in our country are at an all-time high. It’s common now to see idiots from Obama’s Black Lives Matter and Antifa groups burning and defecating on the American flag, as they follow Obama’s message that our flag somehow represents “oppression,” and “white privilege” that needs to be destroyed. Over Independence Day, a nasty Philadelphia woman sparked fury across social media after video taping herself straddled over a toilet and peeing on an American flag, where she captioned the video: ‘F*** your nationalism. F*** your country. F*** your stupid f****** flag.’
Actually, it’s quite the other way around, Emily Lance. It’s more like screw your anti-Americanism, screw your hatred for our country, and screw your desecration of the American flag. The only reason this haggard pretzel eating Philly slob can pee on anything she wants is because of the soldiers who fought for her freedom.